For the Guys

This is from our Dead Poets Society Bible-Life Study that we finished a few weeks ago I and decided that this is the best way to get these comments, and the ones from the Meand Girls Bible-Life Study out to people. Below are comments that I compiled from asking the following question to guys who are in college or recently out of college, so their perspectives are still fresh. "What do you know now that you wish you new when you were in Jr./Sr. High School. Some of these comments come from former YOUth members here at Lakewood, and some from others that I know. I am not necessarily saying that I fully support some of these statements, but I do feel that it gives a variety of experiences and thoughts, many of which may pertain to some of you. Also, I didn't take the time to correct the grammatical errors. The bold, red numbers indicate a different perspective.

1. Well, I'm not quite sure what I've learned or wish I had known. I do know now that girls will always be girls and that their mood swings and off-the-wall emotional breakdowns will never change. It only gets worse. Also, after being in college for a few years I realized that high school wasn't as bad as I thought it was when it was going on. I sort of regret wishing my high school days away. Don't get me wrong though, high school doesn't compare to college and I wouldn't go back to high school if I had the chance.. but when college starts to get hard don't start to wish your college days away either because one day you will actually have to do something. that's all I have as of right now.

2. I would like to have known that it's okay not to have a definite idea about what God is calling you to do with your life. It can take a while for you to be able to say, "Well, duh! Why didn't I know then that was what I was supposed to do!?!"

3. I don't know really. The thing I think about most now is the difference between the "rules" (use loosely) that really do constrict you and the ones that give you more freedom. I think in Searcy, especially with the Harding entity, there were a lot of things imposed through Church of Christ doctrine that really did hinder freedom, be it within the church or outside, i.e., no music in the church, subordination of women, or the fact that Harding controlled some of the market on what could be shown on television. In my opinion, these "rules" were there to make a specific group of people feel better about their righteousness because they could judge other folks based on them. That sucks.BUT, I've also come to realize now, through my own actions as well as some youth struggles, that the really important things we adhere to are there to keep us more free, whether it be enforcement by the state, parents, or our own desire to not be selfish. If you steal, you will go to jail. If you make a baby, you have to deal with that. If you drink and drive, you might die. All losses of freedom in some way, shape, or form. I think this holds true for things in the church, and it all boils down to people being selfish. The less selfish we are, the more freedom we will have. So the rules we have are there to make us more free than to hinder us.

4. One thing i'd say is to try and be yourself in high school; be an individual and try to find out your character and develope that. We just think high school is something in our way, cliques, and paties, but it's an important time of your life.

5. First and foremost, high school is not the pinnacle in most people's social life. Especially if you go to college. I put more energy than I should've into what people thought about me and my actions. Others that I graduated with, lived their lives by what people thought of them. Don't sell out would be my advice.Secondly, (I figure this should be covered) Masturbation and Pornography. Boom! The two largest downfalls throughout jr high, high school and beyond. 1. Masturbation is a gray area that has no clear guidelines. I use 1 Corinthians 10:23 as my basis for saying if it's right or wrong. Sometimes, yes it's beneficial. I can honestly make that argument. But most of the time, no. 2. Pornography, a simple no. I would say it's easier to overcome it in high school than in college because it's so readily available in college. No parents are going to check your browsing history and your roommate is going to go home for the weekend. I would suggest an accountabiliity program like x3 watch. If you're not familiar with it, it monitors questionable sites and sends an email to your accountability partner listing links to the sites. On both of these issues I had the misconception in high school that I would just grow out of them. The only way that you stop them is to stop them. It takes an actual effort and is not easy. But it can be done.

6. Mostly that the crazy emotions you feel dont really mean jack, except to you. If you dont keep them under control, they can actually mess your life up like what happens to neal or you can hurt people you care about. Focus on what makes you happy. Also, college is way harder than high school, which seems dumb but no one ever believes it.

7. I guess just the fact that it's ok to not follow the crowd. That was something I always knew but some of my friends couldn't resist. Alot of people that I knew decided to "fit in" by falling into temptation and running arond with the wrong people. So in a nut shell just tell them that they should feel good about themselves about standing strong in their values and that they will be able to find friends that share those views as well.